"The greatest test of courage on earth is to bear defeat without losing heart."
Robert G. Ingersoll
          
zen-shin Karate
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Parents Build Good Kids PDF Print E-mail

From Keith Hafner’s How to Build Rock Solid Kids

Kids are not born with self-control. For self-control to develop, it must be taught to your child at a very early age. The only way for children to learn self-control is to be controlled by gentle, loving parents.


There are three key principles to raising healthy, confident kids with self-control. You’ve got to:

1. Establish clear rules, clear boundaries.
2. Make sure there are consequences (natural or logical)for not respecting those boundaries.
3. Have consistent follow-up—a zillion, million times, if that’s what it takes.

Older kids, even those who have learned self-control, may go through a period when they resist your boundaries and rules. They are still conducting tests. Don’t cave in. Even at this age, kids still need our guidance, your structure.


Imperfections

An elderly Chinese woman had two large pots,
each hung on the ends of a pole which she carried across her neck.  One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfectand always delivered a full portion of water.
At the end of the long walks from the stream to the house, the
cracked pot arrived only half full.  For a full two years this went on daily, with the woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water.
Of course , the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments.  But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it could only do half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the woman one day by the stream, "I am ashamed of myself, because this crack in my side causes water
to leak out all the way back to your house."  The old woman smiled, "Did you notice that there are flowers onyour side of the path, but not on the other pot's side?"  "That's because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walkback, you water them."
"For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate the table.  Without you being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."  Each of us has our own unique flaw.
But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so very interesting and rewarding.  You've just got to take each person for what they are and look for the good in them.

Kyo-Shi John Richards

 

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